- I practiced the loving kindness exercise. I found this exercise very emotional. The thoughts of breathing in the suffering of my mother who went through chemo and the recent death of my dog was intense. However, breathing out health and happiness to them was relaxing. My mother is doing well since her last chemo session in September. She recently told me that in case there was a relapse, she would never go through chemo again. I also hope that my Ruby who was missing a couple of weeks ago did not suffer. We think she was either taken by coyotes or a hawk. Either way, I hope and breathing out any suffering they might of gone through.
I also breathed in the negative emotions towards those that have hurt me or my family. My mother was undergoing chemo and I was the main caretaker of any personal or financial responsibilities When I lived with my mother over the summer, my husband’s nephew broke into her home. A camera in my mother’s room was missing along with my wallet. He also stole my wallet. I had 2 atm cards. One was open and the other was not activated. Since he tried to use the non-activated card at a Wal-Mart, I was not able to press charges. Since the transaction did not go through, according to Dallas police, no crime was committed. All evidence pointed to him. He had been at my mother’s home the evening the robbery happened among other things. I approached him, his mother, and his father concerning the theft. They wanted evidence and we were not able to provide any due to the transactions not following through.
Since then, part of my husband’s family disowned him. They have recently apologized and said they should not have medelled in the issue and my husband finally told them our part of the story. However, his mother still gives me the cold shoulder and I do not acknowledge them when they are around. I do not think the mother knows about the transactions not going through. In her mind and her son’s word, unless there is hard proof then there was no crime. His actions caused much suffering in my family and his as well. How can I overcome this dilemma? Every time I see their face, especially his I feel so much anger and hurt. This Sunday my husband’s brother is hosting a Super Bowl party. I will not be attending because of the negativity I feel being in the same room the mother and son. Any thoughts or suggestions?
The concept of mental work-out is to practice daily our connection to our psychological well being. The benefits obtained “can be well on the road to health, happiness, and wholesness” (Dacher, 2006, 64). I can mentally connect to my mind by practicing the love-kindness practice at least for 15 minutes twice a day. This practice will help reduce any stress in my life. It will also help send any positive energies to others.
HI Maria,
ReplyDeleteIt seems that this dilemma has struck you at a very crucial time in your life. You may be holding on to the complex emotions dealing with your mother and your Ruby, and directing that energy towards your husbands nephew too much. We all need to feel angry and hurt and sad and then we must learn to let it go. I'm not saying your husbands nephew was not the culprit and that he should get away with what he did, but he has to deal with what and why he did those things. You my dear have to find new outlets for releasing all the emotions your storing. It can only lead to more negativity for your close family and friends. I think you have the right to feel these feelings and in your time you will learn to forgive and let it go but if it's not the time then its not the time and you will know when that time is. If you don't feel comfortable going to the super bowl party because it's just to much for you too handle then thats a wise decision. But you have to find a new outlet, a support group for families who undergo the pain of terminal illnesses. I don't think you have to prove yourself to anyone but you yourself and your well being, we live for our loved ones we also have to live and be real to ourselves. I hope you find a great new way to express yourself in a positive light and one day you will be able to effortlessly forgive and know the beauty even in the ugly of people. I send you thoughts of strength and light. I wish you the best in your inner struggles, we all have them it's part of being human don't fight it embrace it acknowledge it and then let it go. I know the words are easier than actions but by practicing even just saying this will help. And you will see that one day you'll get your " ahh" moment and living will be so much better, because you won't spend so much energy and focus so hard on hate or anger.
Peace and Light Maria to you and your family all of them even the ones who wronged you.
Rox.
Maria,
ReplyDeleteMy love goes out to you in this time of struggle. I hope you know we are here for you to lean on if needed. One thing I can add to the wonderful words Rox wrote is about remembering you can only control yourself. Giving up the need and desire to control other people's words and actions can be a freeing experience. When you feel yourself getting angry or frustrated, remember your thoughts, words, and actions are yours to control. You can remind yourself to come from a place of intention and not reaction. But, you can't control others. Trying to will only lead to more frustration because people rarely do what we want them to do. You also can consider communicating these feelings, if not to them, then to yourself in the form of a journal or blogging about them here. The loving-kindness meditation may help in letting go of some of that anger. Your feelings are yours and are valid. Feel them, acknowledge them, and practice letting them go.
Your in my thoughts!
I am really sorry to hear about your mother and your dog. The loving kindness exercise brings a lot of feelings and emotions that we may not be ready to deal with but the exercise can help us heal.
ReplyDeleteThe family situation is difficult. You have to remember that what is important is that you are there for your husband and that you do what you need to. It may be difficult for you but it will also be difficult for your husband.